Perhaps now I get it a little more that I once did. All the hair-pulling, nerve-wracking, incredibly frustrating, crazy days are made worth it with one day. One day, that although not perfect, was absolutely good. A day that you know undoubtedly that you have changed lives, impacted families, and done good with the time given to you...that certainly makes all the rest worth it.
My Orientation "debut" went off with minimal hitches but rave reviews. Rain or not, didn't matter. Perfect or not, didn't matter. People smiled, mom's cried (it was move-in day after all), sessions were packed, comedians were funny, and dinner was serene (and dry...what a blessing!).
I do my whole job for days like these. I would work my whole life for one more day like this.
But I'm exhausted...and 4:30 is sooo early. No more ear-to-ear smiles for this girly...although I think the smile may stick in my sleep. More on this topic later.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Four O'Clock Hour
Today reminds me of my dad. In fact, it puts me especially in awe of my dad...not that I wasn't before.
The past few days I have been putting in twelve to fourteen hour days, working my butt off, trying to just do a little good. This has been a tough thing for me to cope with, and frankly, after a day like today, you're getting my last few cohesive thoughts that I can eek out. And I wonder how he does it. Every day of my very existence, and probably much longer, my dad has gotten up sometime during the four o'clock hour, worked all day long, come home to do projects around the house or play with us, head to bed during the ten o'clock news, and do it all over again the next day.
I won't pretend to understand what drives him to work so hard, but I desperately want some of that. At some point, you find yourself running on motivation and heart alone. Your body cries for you to just sit down, your mind feels like it has been through a meat grinder a few times, it's all you can do to keep from tearing up at your to-do list, and you begin to operate on some sort of fumes rather than fuel. Tonight I wonder if the motivation is enough to keep a person going, and if so, for how long. For my dad, it seems to be endless, just enough for him to roll out of bed in the four o'clock hour for one more day...again and again. And for me, I'm sure it will be the same. The pressure of being the new kid at work can't last forever, right?
If this post makes no sense, well, blame it on the meat grinder.
The past few days I have been putting in twelve to fourteen hour days, working my butt off, trying to just do a little good. This has been a tough thing for me to cope with, and frankly, after a day like today, you're getting my last few cohesive thoughts that I can eek out. And I wonder how he does it. Every day of my very existence, and probably much longer, my dad has gotten up sometime during the four o'clock hour, worked all day long, come home to do projects around the house or play with us, head to bed during the ten o'clock news, and do it all over again the next day.
I won't pretend to understand what drives him to work so hard, but I desperately want some of that. At some point, you find yourself running on motivation and heart alone. Your body cries for you to just sit down, your mind feels like it has been through a meat grinder a few times, it's all you can do to keep from tearing up at your to-do list, and you begin to operate on some sort of fumes rather than fuel. Tonight I wonder if the motivation is enough to keep a person going, and if so, for how long. For my dad, it seems to be endless, just enough for him to roll out of bed in the four o'clock hour for one more day...again and again. And for me, I'm sure it will be the same. The pressure of being the new kid at work can't last forever, right?
If this post makes no sense, well, blame it on the meat grinder.
Saturday, August 09, 2008
Banker Genes
I, quite unfortunately, have not acquired my mother's banker genes, or even my father's business-minded genes. This would not be such a problem, except for my newest job requirement: budgets. And it would probably not be such a problem with one budget to deal with, but there is not just one. There are, in fact, four budgets, each with ten to fifteen different accounts to keep track of, oh, and the one other budget with over twenty accounts that I need to keep an eye on.
Once, I attempted a general budget for my personal life (two accounts-checking and savings)...pretty predictable, pretty simple stuff. But with such a complex amount of dealings to deal with, I feel like I'm the frog in that Frogger video game of old (you know you've played it). Only I'm stuck somewhere in Level 22 where there are twelve lanes of traffic to cross each filled with perils of buses and speeding limos and such.
Now, don't get me wrong, I do actually understand the basic premise of budgeting. Money goes in, money comes out, start with so much, spend so much, end up somewhere near zero, or at least a positive number. Seems simple right? Well, so far, I've managed to take one of four budgets somewhere near $8,000 over. I have only worked in my office for five weeks.
Vrrooommm. *hit by speeding limo*
Once, I attempted a general budget for my personal life (two accounts-checking and savings)...pretty predictable, pretty simple stuff. But with such a complex amount of dealings to deal with, I feel like I'm the frog in that Frogger video game of old (you know you've played it). Only I'm stuck somewhere in Level 22 where there are twelve lanes of traffic to cross each filled with perils of buses and speeding limos and such.
Now, don't get me wrong, I do actually understand the basic premise of budgeting. Money goes in, money comes out, start with so much, spend so much, end up somewhere near zero, or at least a positive number. Seems simple right? Well, so far, I've managed to take one of four budgets somewhere near $8,000 over. I have only worked in my office for five weeks.
Vrrooommm. *hit by speeding limo*
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
The Impact of Attitude
This seems to be a lesson I am constantly relearning in life. Attitude has such a profound impact on people in seemingly insignificant situations - it's astounding. In two different positions, at two different colleges, I have seen the catastrophic effect that a negative attitude can have, but I have seen it now, from two very different angles.
While at Platteville, I was slowly introduced to negativity. It wasn't an immediate thing. I started as an annoyingly perky, full-of-life, young and crazy-ambitious person. (What most of you know as me...) But after a while, the edge of my perk had worn a little dull, my glow was a little dim, and my ambition had dwindled with a pure lack of motivation. But after two years, what caused it all to happen? Where did so much apathy and melancholy come from? Without pointing any fingers (because it certainly doesn't matter now anyway) it was the people and the environment around me in which I was forced to interact. And instead of fighting for my very being to thrive and succeed, I conceded to the consensus of the group and became what they already were - negative. And it took me a little bit of reflecting, but I think I've finally figured out why. It was easier. And surely it was. After all, everyone else was doing it. Why not jump in and become what everyone else thought was ok.
But it was a lie. It wasn't who I was, what I felt inside. I fell into a trap and couldn't get myself back out of it. It got to the point where I had to leave....had to...because I felt like I had betrayed myself.
Now, on the other side of the coin, entering a new position at UD, where negativity on some parts was already firmly in place before I ever arrived, I have viewed first-hand just how poisoning it can be. People learn attitudes. They are not born with negativity, grumbling, and anger. You don't see two and three year old children walking around complaining about everything in front of them. It is learned. Just like I learned it at Platteville, others have learned it at UD.
The most unfortunate part of this story is that for some reason, which I have not yet been made aware of, negativity and positivity are so very, very different. A person can pick up a negative attitude in seconds, echoing a single grumble of one that can become the chorus for many. But positivity is looked on with some sort of disdain, as if to say, "What's wrong with you?" As if I should, by nature, be negative which seems to me to be inherently against our nature.
Regardless of the scoffing, the pity-smiles, and all that comes with being markedly different, I will keep pressing forward. If someone can learn a negative attitude, even if it is the easy route, then they surely can learn a positive one, even if it takes a lifetime. A wise woman named Rosemary once said to me, "Never give up your power. It's what they want you to do." At first, I didn't know what she meant exactly, but I've come to understand. They want you to be miserable...to join Team Negative...because once upon a time, they did. But if you stand firm in the things you truly believe in, you hold the power.
So, think about it next time you start to grumble about today's lunch not being all that great or you go to blame someone for something you feel was not right. A few quick works of negativity rub off in seconds, but it could take years to undo it again. As for me, although certainly not devoid of all negative thoughts, I will work to be intentional with every action, word, and even thought, in hopes that one day, my impact will be felt and overcome what has been previously set into place. Not the easy road, by any means, but the right road, the one I truly believe in.
While at Platteville, I was slowly introduced to negativity. It wasn't an immediate thing. I started as an annoyingly perky, full-of-life, young and crazy-ambitious person. (What most of you know as me...) But after a while, the edge of my perk had worn a little dull, my glow was a little dim, and my ambition had dwindled with a pure lack of motivation. But after two years, what caused it all to happen? Where did so much apathy and melancholy come from? Without pointing any fingers (because it certainly doesn't matter now anyway) it was the people and the environment around me in which I was forced to interact. And instead of fighting for my very being to thrive and succeed, I conceded to the consensus of the group and became what they already were - negative. And it took me a little bit of reflecting, but I think I've finally figured out why. It was easier. And surely it was. After all, everyone else was doing it. Why not jump in and become what everyone else thought was ok.
But it was a lie. It wasn't who I was, what I felt inside. I fell into a trap and couldn't get myself back out of it. It got to the point where I had to leave....had to...because I felt like I had betrayed myself.
Now, on the other side of the coin, entering a new position at UD, where negativity on some parts was already firmly in place before I ever arrived, I have viewed first-hand just how poisoning it can be. People learn attitudes. They are not born with negativity, grumbling, and anger. You don't see two and three year old children walking around complaining about everything in front of them. It is learned. Just like I learned it at Platteville, others have learned it at UD.
The most unfortunate part of this story is that for some reason, which I have not yet been made aware of, negativity and positivity are so very, very different. A person can pick up a negative attitude in seconds, echoing a single grumble of one that can become the chorus for many. But positivity is looked on with some sort of disdain, as if to say, "What's wrong with you?" As if I should, by nature, be negative which seems to me to be inherently against our nature.
Regardless of the scoffing, the pity-smiles, and all that comes with being markedly different, I will keep pressing forward. If someone can learn a negative attitude, even if it is the easy route, then they surely can learn a positive one, even if it takes a lifetime. A wise woman named Rosemary once said to me, "Never give up your power. It's what they want you to do." At first, I didn't know what she meant exactly, but I've come to understand. They want you to be miserable...to join Team Negative...because once upon a time, they did. But if you stand firm in the things you truly believe in, you hold the power.
So, think about it next time you start to grumble about today's lunch not being all that great or you go to blame someone for something you feel was not right. A few quick works of negativity rub off in seconds, but it could take years to undo it again. As for me, although certainly not devoid of all negative thoughts, I will work to be intentional with every action, word, and even thought, in hopes that one day, my impact will be felt and overcome what has been previously set into place. Not the easy road, by any means, but the right road, the one I truly believe in.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Baptism by....
You know the old saying, "Baptism by fire"? Well, I feel like that has been what my new job at the University of Dubuque has been. In a month, I have managed to pretty much train myself (see Week 2, Done! for more details on my first few weeks), figured out how to manage running daily operations, worked (pretty well, if I do say so myself) without a permanent supervisor, taken the occasional verbal beating, and even (somehow) started some new initiatives (yikes!). And in two and a half short weeks, I will run an entire New Student Orientation four day weekend for the first time in my life.
Baptism by fire? More like baptism by meat grinder...or wolf attack. But luckily, I happen to really like fire, meat grinders, and wolves. Their crazy tactics don't scare me off. First ever UD Homecoming Parade??? Bring it on. Surely you didn't think you could shake me that easily, did you?
Baptism by fire? More like baptism by meat grinder...or wolf attack. But luckily, I happen to really like fire, meat grinders, and wolves. Their crazy tactics don't scare me off. First ever UD Homecoming Parade??? Bring it on. Surely you didn't think you could shake me that easily, did you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)