Well, a few days above freezing not only gained a few hornets crawling around the snow, but today I have killed the first live one in my apartment. I guess it's time to turn out the super sensors of hearing and seeing out of the corner of my eyes.
Looks like I will be calling my landlady on Monday morning for a little chat. I can't live on the edge of sleep and sanity for a whole nother warm season out of fear and anger from those stupid bugs. Because something tells me this little guy that I whacked today didn't come alone, and I'm not really in the mood to meet his friends.
Just like last year, I tend to be a little jumpy for the first couple that I kill...or over-kill. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I killed this first one fourteen times or so. And so it will go until I have once again mastered the skill of killing them with a single swat in mid-flight. But it looks like until I make friends with the exterminator, my best friend with be the fly swatter that will live in my right hand until sometime next November.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
My World
My world has not ended.
It will be there tomorrow.
Just as I left it.
I'll find it back.
My world is not over.
It does not sleep.
There is something better.
I'll find it yet.
My tears do not break me.
They just show my soul.
My eyes dry tomorrow.
I'll find new strength.
Tomorrow's a new day.
The horizon is bright.
There's only the new world.
I'll find with joy.
My world is still here.
Unshakable faith.
Smile a little bigger.
I'll find it. It's there.
-LK
It will be there tomorrow.
Just as I left it.
I'll find it back.
My world is not over.
It does not sleep.
There is something better.
I'll find it yet.
My tears do not break me.
They just show my soul.
My eyes dry tomorrow.
I'll find new strength.
Tomorrow's a new day.
The horizon is bright.
There's only the new world.
I'll find with joy.
My world is still here.
Unshakable faith.
Smile a little bigger.
I'll find it. It's there.
-LK
Disappointment
dis·ap·point·ment (dĭs'ə-point'mənt)
noun
-----
Today I feel disappointed. And you know, disappointment is a funny thing. It can just sneak up on you from out of nowhere. It can take you from extremely excited to pretty much crushed in a matter of seconds.
I'm disappointed for a lot of reasons right now. I'm disappointed that I'm too naive, too green, to much of a kid to know what's really up. I don't know important things that I should know...like a giant placement exchange that is coupled with one of the biggest conferences of the year for student affairs. I don't even know what questions to ask or when to ask them...like, "NASPA...what are you going there for?" or "How can I find a great job today?"
I'm disappointed that I don't have a professional mentor and that I underestimated the necessity of one. I really need someone there beside me guiding me while I'm still too stupid to know anything on my own. To tell me things that I can't learn without them.
And I'm disappointed that I don't have enough initiative on my own to learn things without asking questions or a mentor. I could have found the information I needed online or in a pamphlet somewhere. I just didn't. Once again, it seems I'm a day late and a dollar short.
All this disappointment comes, hopefully a little prematurely, but I doubt it. I applied for a job yesterday, which I was very excited about. I thought it sounded like a great fit, and it had only been listed on one of the higher education job websites for a few weeks. Today, Alisha was in my office and I was telling her about it. She mentioned that they had probably listed it at NASPA last week. And that was the first I had heard about NASPA as a placement exchange rather than just a conference. At that point I still had hope that maybe the school I had applied with hadn't been there. It was, after all, in Boston. But then I looked. And it was. Dang.
So now, I figure I'll never hear from them because they've already interviewed probably thirty or so people before I ever applied. And that's disappointment for you at its finest. I can't wait for this day to be over.
noun
| 1. | a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized; "his hopes were so high he was doomed to disappointment" |
| 2. | an act (or failure to act) that disappoints someone |
Today I feel disappointed. And you know, disappointment is a funny thing. It can just sneak up on you from out of nowhere. It can take you from extremely excited to pretty much crushed in a matter of seconds.
I'm disappointed for a lot of reasons right now. I'm disappointed that I'm too naive, too green, to much of a kid to know what's really up. I don't know important things that I should know...like a giant placement exchange that is coupled with one of the biggest conferences of the year for student affairs. I don't even know what questions to ask or when to ask them...like, "NASPA...what are you going there for?" or "How can I find a great job today?"
I'm disappointed that I don't have a professional mentor and that I underestimated the necessity of one. I really need someone there beside me guiding me while I'm still too stupid to know anything on my own. To tell me things that I can't learn without them.
And I'm disappointed that I don't have enough initiative on my own to learn things without asking questions or a mentor. I could have found the information I needed online or in a pamphlet somewhere. I just didn't. Once again, it seems I'm a day late and a dollar short.
All this disappointment comes, hopefully a little prematurely, but I doubt it. I applied for a job yesterday, which I was very excited about. I thought it sounded like a great fit, and it had only been listed on one of the higher education job websites for a few weeks. Today, Alisha was in my office and I was telling her about it. She mentioned that they had probably listed it at NASPA last week. And that was the first I had heard about NASPA as a placement exchange rather than just a conference. At that point I still had hope that maybe the school I had applied with hadn't been there. It was, after all, in Boston. But then I looked. And it was. Dang.
So now, I figure I'll never hear from them because they've already interviewed probably thirty or so people before I ever applied. And that's disappointment for you at its finest. I can't wait for this day to be over.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
The Art of Calm
As it turns out, calm is an art form that I am quickly, and happily learning.
Growing up in a no-stop-light town, where two cars at any given intersection can be considered a traffic jam, there isn't much to get one excited or upset. Everything has a simple, quiet rhythm. Outside of that very-near-fantasy world, the pace is somewhat different. Take Suburbia, for instance. This is a strange world where towns have a border but never end, where someone's always going somewhere typically at a fast pace. It's a place where one could get frustrated if not used to the environment.
But I've realized that there is an art to keeping calm in the chaos, a handy tool when so much of my time is dedicated to participating the chaos. One mechanism that I have developed, much on accident, is taking joy in the survival. What I mean by that is recognizing, at nearly every destination, that I've made it and done well in doing so. It's a little celebration dedicated to still being alive. Another little mechanism is physically relaxing in the car. Do you ever notice how tight random muscles get if you're not paying attention? For me, it's my whole driving leg, from toes to hip. It requires some focus to be able to relax it, but in doing so, I somehow manage to relax everything else.
In a world of road rage and race pace, it's nice to know that I can get in my car and not be a part of the chaos around me...at least in my own mind.
Growing up in a no-stop-light town, where two cars at any given intersection can be considered a traffic jam, there isn't much to get one excited or upset. Everything has a simple, quiet rhythm. Outside of that very-near-fantasy world, the pace is somewhat different. Take Suburbia, for instance. This is a strange world where towns have a border but never end, where someone's always going somewhere typically at a fast pace. It's a place where one could get frustrated if not used to the environment.
But I've realized that there is an art to keeping calm in the chaos, a handy tool when so much of my time is dedicated to participating the chaos. One mechanism that I have developed, much on accident, is taking joy in the survival. What I mean by that is recognizing, at nearly every destination, that I've made it and done well in doing so. It's a little celebration dedicated to still being alive. Another little mechanism is physically relaxing in the car. Do you ever notice how tight random muscles get if you're not paying attention? For me, it's my whole driving leg, from toes to hip. It requires some focus to be able to relax it, but in doing so, I somehow manage to relax everything else.
In a world of road rage and race pace, it's nice to know that I can get in my car and not be a part of the chaos around me...at least in my own mind.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
They're Back!
Welcome to a few minutes above the freezing point. This is what happens at my house when the temperature, even for a day, reaches above thirty two degrees:
So far they've all decided to stay outside. Hopefully that trend will continue rather than coming inside my house. Because, frankly, they don't make good pets.
Happy Spring?
So far they've all decided to stay outside. Hopefully that trend will continue rather than coming inside my house. Because, frankly, they don't make good pets.
Happy Spring?
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