Be careful what you wish for...

I do not know the origins of the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for!" But lately, that phrase has been ringing truer than usual in my life in a number of situations.

The other night, I went on a blind date of sorts - a set up by my next door neighbor. My neighbors are wonderful people who I adore and am very thankful for. But when a neighbor tries to set you up with someone (they've never met), one should not always accept the offer. But I guess I did invite it. I tell all people that know me well that if they know of people that I might get along with, they should introduce us. Perhaps some people are a better judge of personalities than others.  (Long story short, the blind date did not go well...at all. We each brought several friends out for drinks so it was at least low key. But I got a text the following day asking if the friend I brought with me might be interested in a call from him. Neat. And she would not.) I need to be far more careful what I wish for!

At work, I'm getting a new assistant director to help me out with Student Activities. Awesome! But that means that in the next few weeks, I have to figure out how to hire, train, and get fully functioning a whole person...and myself. I can't even get myself organized for the fall most years! I am so very grateful for finally getting the help I so desperately need. I have no idea how I'm going to get everything done before students come back. Lesson learned - I need to be careful what I wish for! 

I'm leaving on vacation in a few days. I love vacation. I love seeing my mom for a few days and my dad for a few days. (No, they're not divorced. We just like to do different stuff together.) I love the challenge of climbing to the tops of mountains and the relaxation of shopping and girl-time. Work is tragically busy right now. I have publications coming out of my ears. I'm way behind. But I want this vacation. Looks like I'll be dragging mass quantities of work along with me to Colorado. Oh, and my house needed some major cleaning before it would meet minimum-mom-standards...so that's what I got to do tonight. Okay, I get it! I guess I should be careful what I wish for! 

This summer is shaping up to be one of the busiest, craziest, most wonderful summers ever. I'm excited, thrilled, calm, tense, and through it all, in remarkably good spirits. I have to keep reminding myself that I indeed did ask for much of what I'm experiencing this summer. I wanted a garden, thus I need to commit to weeding and keeping it nice and canning or freezing everything once it's ready. I wanted some help in the office, so I need to figure out how to get them here and give them a great experience. I want a husband, so I need to learn to take the bad with the good all as a part of the process...either that or figure out how to find him all by myself. 

Perhaps the lesson, "Be careful what you wish for!" is really code for, "For every decision you make, there is a consequence. You're going to have to deal with that." :)

Like a fight with a boyfriend...

The past few weeks at the university have been tough to say the very least. It's been a lot like being in a fight with a boyfriend. There has been frustration at every turn, and I walk away from this week feeling defeated. 

First, after playing middleman between Admissions, the Registrars Office, and Technology. The reason for me being in the middle? Well, mainly because it was all my idea. (What idea, you're asking yourself...it doesn't really matter.) But I ended up smack in the middle, and the only way my brilliant idea was going to take off was for me to stay right there doing tasks that I frankly had no business doing. But, I took it as sort of a challenge, and I went about my additional work willingly and with a smile. But today, out of left field, it all came crashing down. One part of the department triangle decided that what we were doing can't be done, then the other starting asking all sorts of questions, and then it all collapsed. We would just no longer do what we were doing. The end. Crushing. I worked so hard for that, and one person can just cabosh it? Just like that? 

And then there was the whole issue of my personal reimbursement. I purchased a significant amount of Visa gift cards with my own credit card for a student organization (about as much as my entire monthly paycheck). It launched an entire barrage of questions about the legalities of the whole thing and requests for more and more information, none of which I could really provide, at least not on solid truth. I tried my dutiful best to get that information, I really did. At first, the entire reimbursement was delayed a week (reminder: about as much as I get paid in a month), then it was agreed that I would receive a portion. Then the rest was delayed for three more terrifying, terrible weeks. I will receive the last of it tomorrow, but not without a whole armload of scoldings and warnings. So, even though I didn't do anything wrong, I certainly felt like I did in the end. 

I feel terrible about how these weeks have gone. I love what I do, and I love where I get to do it. But the past few weeks challenged that love in a real way and caused me to question why and how I do some things. I no longer maintain a blind faith that my campus will always take care of me and have my best interest (or students' best interest for that matter) in mind. There is a new layer of skepticism that I don't want to be there, but as a matter of self-preservation, it will probably have to remain for a while. 

Like a fight with a boyfriend, the past few weeks have left me with some open wounds that I'll have to continue to deal with. It lingers much longer than just these weeks. I'm very glad that I will only have to make it through a half a day more this week. I need some healing time this weekend in order to gear up for next week.