Monday, February 09, 2009

Moonbeams

Tonight, while driving my long commute home, I couldn't help but be enamored with the brilliance of the moon shining through the quickly passing clouds. The bluish silver hue that was cast upon the melting snow and filling streams was like nothing I had seen.

Prior to the moment I realized the moon was out and shining brightly, there were thousands of thoughts running through my head, nearly trampling over themselves trying to get out of my cluttered brain. Why are students so crabby? What new things can I do to generate excitement on campus? I need to do this...finish that...Did I lock my office? Voicemail...email...ugh, you didn't check your mailbox. Dirty lunch dishes...Did I water the plants? I'm so sick...should I stay home tomorrow?

But in a single moment, all of the clutter faded into the background. My mind grew hushed. The beauty of the moonbeams flooded every inch of thought and feeling. And after a few moments of just peace, a single thought came to my mind. I want to be like the moon. The moon doesn't create its own light. It doesn't shine on its own. It's merely just a rock in the sky, circling the earth. But it reflects the sun's light from a vast distance and provides a glow that is unmissable. And that is exactly what I want in my life. I want to reflect the Son's brilliance through my very own moonbeams. I want to be unmissable, not because of my own beauty. Because the moon without the sun, after all, is just a rock in the sky. I without my Jesus am just a empty dull being, purposeless and unnoticeable. But with the Son's light reflecting through me, I am given my purpose, my beauty, my unmistakable glow.

I pray that I can be a moonbeam to the earth, reflecting Your very beauty, Your loveliness to Your creation. Without Your shine, I cannot glow, not even a flicker of light will shine from me. With Your light, let me beam Your presence to all who are near.

Enthusiasm

I find people often commenting about my abounding energy and enthusiasm for just about anything in life. But I began to wonder, Why does my enthusiasm stand out so much?

Last night was a great example of people's dying enthusiasm about life. It made me crabby but also made me chuckle just a little bit. We had an "all organizations" meeting for the spring semester - a way to gather up some central leaders on campus and chat about the current issues, questions, and problems going on in campus involvement. Part of the meeting went kind of like this:

Why do we have to be at this meeting? Is it going to take the full two hours? Where's the free food we were promised? I don't want to be forced to go to Student Government meetings.... (lots more grumbling from the entire group...)

Why aren't more people involved on campus? No one comes to our stuff. This campus just doesn't give a crap.

Really? You really think that people are going to come to things? You really think people are going to get involved when that's what they are greeted with? The resounding sounds of crabby people that aren't excited about what they do, what their mission is, or how they change the world around them?

The fact of the matter is that enthusiasm tends to breed only more enthusiasm, but a bad attitude breed all sorts of issues that run way deeper. A bad attitude can lead to negative actions toward people you care about, things you do, and even things you know nothing about. And the worst part of it all is that, for one reason or another, a negative attitude is so much easier to spread around than a positive one.

So, yeah, much of this campus, frankly, doesn't give a hoot about what is happening around them, but look at their examples, a bunch of involved, but equally grumpy, apathetic individuals living the exact same way.

So, I say, come on people. Take a look at what you're spreading around. Only you can work to make this a better place with better attitudes and attention to surroundings. Be truly excited about what you do, and for Pete's sake, share that with people! What could it hurt?

Monday, February 02, 2009

Frustration

I'm a little confused. At myself.

Never have I experienced such a frustrating endeavor as house hunting. I'm not typically quick to anger or frustration, and I consider myself a relatively patient person with a logical head on my shoulders.

Why then do I feel myself flying into a rage over my current situation? Why am I eternally frustrated over all the places I've seen? Why can't I cut my loses and move on to bigger and better things?

There are a few things I know in all of this, which, unfortunately only add to my confusion. 1) I know that God provides. I really don't have anything to worry about at all when it comes to finding a home. When I'm meant to have a home, I'll have one. And 2) parents are usually right. And if they say I need to wait on it, then most likely, that's what I need to do.

Somehow those two things don't eliminate my frustrations. They still bubble up right under the surface and seem to fester and explode with every new ugly house I see. Pretty thankfully, I have understanding parents, and I have a God that allows me to come to Him with my tears, questions, and frustrations. He let's me blow off my steam, waits until I'm finished, only to remind me that He's already taking care of it. Why can't I remember this? He's already got it. Somehow in all of this, I need to figure out how to let go and get back to real trust, knowing that through all the ugly houses left behind and all the pretty ones snatched up from beneath me, it is not madness or randomness or circumstance. Somehow, someway, it is exactly how it was intended to be. Unfortunately, my weak and weary human nature probably won't let me see it until I've gotten through and take a look back.

Your timing, not mine. Your plan, not my own. One step at a time...

Something's Missing: Follow Up

So, Divinely, on Sunday, Pastor Ken's sermon was on the very topic of love. After feeling so passionately that God was telling me to focus on this topic, it turns out, He's moving others' hearts toward this as well.

If you get a moment, please listen to Ken's sermon. You can find it here.

God works in such cool ways.