This year is quickly drawing to a close, and as has become my usual habit, I thought I'd take some time to reflect on what in the world has all happened in my life. I have probably said this every year, but this year I mean it more than ever: as I get older, time only seems to go faster. Just about the time I've learned to really appreciate life, it goes to fast to even remember it.
2011 has certainly been a good year when it's all said and done, more positives than negatives surely. In fact, I feel quite blessed as I look back over the last year.
I have successfully completed two classes at Edgewood in full-time doctoral student mode. And not only have a I finished them, I have truly falling in love with the work. I feel a certain academic sharpness returning to my brain and fingertips as I pour over articles, books, studies, and my own academic writing and presentations. And although I haven't come close to determining a dissertation topic yet, I think I will love diving into such a monumental project. Along the way, I hope to get published a time or two or invited to present at a conference or two, all in hopes of advancing my knowledge and expertise in my field to be able to serve my campus and my students better. All such things really just bring me joy. I know most people think that there must be something wrong with me to work so hard, at such a breakneck pace, but the fact of the matter is, I was created just this way, to fill my time with service to others, learning and growing along the way.
At UD, I'm in my fourth cycle, and no two years have ever looked the same. This year, I was blessed with the addition of a co-worker in my department after flying solo for three years. Danielle has been such a wonderful addition to the department - so full of energy, fresh ideas, and a heart for students and their passions. And although this first year has been a lot of job sharing and shadowing rather than independent projects and assignments, I couldn't be more pleased. We've built a synergy that has blown the lid off of a lot of old ideas and really revolutionized how we approach a lot things on campus. I am always amazed to think that Danielle has only been out of undergrad for a year and a half. She is just so wise and steady. In my first years here, I had a fair share of meltdowns and tantrums normal to a fairly new professional, but if she ever melted down and got shaky at all, I never saw it. She is amazing, and I'm blessed to have her at my side.
As for professional goals for the future, although still not much of a plan-maker, I can see for the first time, real possibilities for me to be a leader in higher education. As I continue through my doctoral program and various committees and leadership roles at UD, I can see real potential for myself as an administrator. Administration, even upper levels of administration, have always sort of been on my radar but maybe never really all that seriously. I struggle frequently with feeling too young, too inexperienced, to uneducated, but with each year that passes, I become, as one would, a little older, a little more experienced, and a little more educated. For the first time, deanships, vice presidencies, and even presidencies or chancellorships do not seem all that out of reach. So, I find myself, as I enter 2012, getting a little more serious about not only service to students and my campus, but also advancement opportunities for myself. Things like conference presentations and publications, professional mentor relationships, and intentional skill-building are all on the horizon for the upcoming year. The only word that adequately describes what I get to do for a living is love.
Speaking of love, my "love life" has sort of been all over the map this year, but I have spent another year without my husband's hand in mine. I dated a non-Christian 17 years my senior for several months that included several trips to Chicago, lots of fun nights out, and some pretty epic discussions on faith and values. And I didn't officially ever date a man that I ended up developing some pretty significant feelings for, but that wasn't meant to be either. And, of course, I went on a few genuinely awful blind dates, one provided by a neighbor that I am very thankful to have brought a few friends along to, one facilitated by nearly the entire UD football coaching staff on behalf of an offensive line coach who had apparently made it no secret that he was interested in me. But all in all, I can't say I'm disappointed in my experiences this year in the dating realm. With every experience, every awkward date, every heartfelt discussion, I'm learning more about myself, more about men, more about what relationships can be. And I hold on to the fact that God is far bigger than each of these experiences. He's far wiser, far better, and has a far more glorious plan for me. I have not lost hope; I have only gained a deeper more sure hope.
My neighborhood continues to bring me surprising joy. The hodgepodge of random people that we are, we can still find common ground over summer Saturday potlucks, downtown festivals and city home tours, fire pits complete with marshmallows, and a good beer or two. Produce grows richly and is shared freely, and doors are always open. There aren't many neighborhoods left like this. People have become secluded and secretive, not looking for relationships of proximity anymore. We're not without our individual strangenesses, but we just decide to get along and enjoy each other because we're there.
I added a few hobbies to my already crazy life, most notably of which was running. I always thought there was something different about runners than the rest of society. They were somehow more disciplined, more dedicated, maybe just more crazy than others. I was always sort of jealous of runners and the ease with which they seemed to float past, sometimes even with a smile and a wave as they went. Early this summer, I decided to try it, and as I suspected, I hated it. I made it maybe five minutes before I sulked back to the house, feeling completely defeated. But with the encouragement and direction of a friend from church, now affectionately called Coach, I tried it again, a little at a time, until I had convinced my body that it liked to run. All summer and fall, I made time to run, at first just two miles a day, then a few more, then I began to work at some distance. By late summer, I was up to almost five miles a day. Running, besides the obvious health benefits associated, has been a fantastic mental/emotional balancer. It creates the space that thoughts and emotions, especially the ones hidden somewhere down deep, need to bounce around, to expand and grow, and sometimes, just escape.
So there you have it. A very good year indeed. As I look ahead, I'm excited about 2012. I honestly have no idea what it will hold for me. It could be as constant and steady as this year has been or it could hold big, life-altering experiences. Either way, I'm sure it will come and go with the same breakneck fury as years before, and I plan to dive in and enjoy every minute! Happy 2012 everyone!
