A Seminar and Some Ponderings

The life lessons never cease. Today's women's seminar at church was a healthy reminder of that. In fact, today was a really good reminder of those questions and subjects which I struggle with but often choose to push to the back of my mind.

The primary topic that was brought to the forefront today was that of singleness. I was hoping that the subject of contentment would be close behind, and frankly, it was supposed to. I attended a session called, "Single, Content, and Loving It!" It was presented by a wonderfully content and beautiful thirty-two year old single woman who was perfectly content with her singleness. We discussed a lot of things in the session, but the one thing that struck me (not as something new, but as something prevalent nonetheless) was the view of singleness to society.

Society looks at singleness as if there is something that is lacking, something missing, incomplete, or wrong. And although I know in my head that that is surely not true, I can't somehow get past that fact that I still feel like there is something missing.

How can I go about finding contentment despite of these unshakable thoughts? Do I merely fill my time as to distract myself from desires of finding my perfect someone? If that were any sort of logic, surely by now I would be thoroughly distracted enough to never notice my singleness. Between work, travel, grad school, spending time with close friends and family, and, oh I don't know...sleep, I am busy enough to miss a fairly major natural disaster or cosmic event.

Do I pour myself into close non-romantic relationships as to fulfill the basic human need to be relational? This could help, but I may need to find a few new friends. I have a few close wonderful friends, but they are as busy as I am, and we rarely get to spend a lot of quality time together.

Do I get a pet? No can do...too much travel and a historic apartment seem to prohibit that. Do I give up altogether and stop looking completely? The logic there is that once you give up, Mr. Perfect shows up at your door. And although I know that that has been known to happen, I can't say at this point that it makes any sense.

All I can figure is that what I need to do for now is continue to pray as I have fervently for years now and remember that God makes the plans and probably giggles at mine. And I've got to figure He probably knows better that I what I need in my life, now, ten years from now, and forever. So although I have still not reconciled my feelings of unfulfillment and general lack of something, I at least have pondered it rather that bottled it.

"...I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation..." (Phil 4:12) Now I only need to learn to apply it.

Education -- the Pursuit of.....

Today began a new class in my grad program: The History of Higher Education. So far this course has yielded some of the driest reading to date, but the texts do pose some interesting thoughts. In three chapters of descriptions of where America's colleges rooted from, the trend of the purpose of higher education is discussed.

At first, me pursued higher education in order to gain the knowledge of forefathers and philosophies of old. Ancient languages like Latin, Greek, and Hebrew were taught for the sheer purpose of knowing them...perhaps to speak the language of the angels. Education quickly took a turn toward service within the church or community as an educated clergyman or town leader. And following that, men realized that they could be quite prosperous and successful in the secular world. And yet following that, that college was less about learning and more about social experiences. Higher learning became a party, even in the 1800s rather than an enlightenment for the sake of personal, mental, and spiritual growth. (And now I am boring myself. Sorry...)

But now, as I struggle through the readings for this less than enthralling course, I wonder what exactly I am pursuing. My gut says for the money and success, as many could probably honestly admit. But as I look to my future, pondering what exciting things it could hold -- love, a family, community involvement, a home, a career, a mission.... I wonder if my reasoning goes deeper than just money and personal success. I have determined that I quite frankly enjoy learning. I don't do this work for a piece of paper, for a higher salary, or for the admiration of my friends (although, I won't deny they are all bonuses), but for personal, mental, and spiritual growth, just as the founding sons and daughters of the first classes, in the first colleges, of a brand new world.

So I apply this logic to my other aspirations in life. Why do I pursue them? Is it just for me? Is it for the glory of God? Or is it for show, success, and admiration?

A New Year Means....

2008.

It's here. Like it or not.

But what will this new year bring for me? What do I want out of it? What do I need? The honest answer to those questions is that I'm just not sure.

I do know a few things that I want, but these things, as you probably know, are completely out of my control. I'd love to find my great love in the world, and I don't just mean my man to marry, although if I had anything to do with it, it would be the first thing on my to-do list. I mean all of my great loves, those passions that are central to my life. Is it photography? Music and singing? Mountain climbing and the beauty of nature? I need....I need an adventure. Something new. Something to shake me up.

2008 excites me. After all, there can only be bigger, better things to come this year. No matter what path I choose, it's going to be a wonderfully exciting journey. And, for me, that journey starts today. And if you're reading this on Monday, Tuesday, or any day, the same holds true. My journey still starts today.