2012: A Year in Review

Today, as I sit in my house, snowed in by Draco, I thought it was the perfect time to do a little reflecting on what 2012 has brought me.

Simply put, I live an awesome life.

I mean really. I just don't know how life can get any better.

I'm still enrolled at Edgewood College, at the halfway point of becoming a doctor. That thought is sort of surreal to me, a first generation college student who thought she was going to be a ballerina, a teacher, a marine biologist, an engineer...I'm well on my way to a blossoming career in higher education with so much of my career yet in front of me.

I am still in love with UD, though I am keeping my options open. Now calm down. I'm not going anywhere just yet. I love my job and my students and the many opportunities that I've been given, and I fully intend to keep on living out my calling in this wonderful place until I know for sure that it's time to go. And that time is not today. This past year, I was not in the classroom at all, which I am finding that I miss, but the additional "free time" has been great to dedicate to other things like Edgewood. But I've found myself on some great committees and teams that both improve my own professional skills and improve UD. I can't wait to see what 2013 has in store for me at UD.

I have a great home. The longer I live here, the more I love my little house with its little yard, wonderful neighbors, and cozy spaces. Earlier this fall, someone tried to break in to the house while I was away for my birthday. I, understandably, freaked out when I walked in to find the back door open a crack late one night, but after getting everything put back into place and a few good nights' sleep, I realized that I have nothing to fear. Little house did exactly what it was supposed to do. Doors stayed closed, windows stayed locked, and personal belongings were safe. I'm blessed to be able to live in such a great place, warm and safe, and surrounded by friends and family.

Derrick and I have been together for six months now, and what a crazy unexpected six months it has been. I went from hearing of this mystery man, this son-of-my-friend guy, that I was quite sure I would never meet, to having our lives thrust together through a set of not-so-accidental circumstances. Our relationship has not been perfect (is anyone's?) but it sure has been a wonderful ride. It's been a journey of building friendship, love, trust, and understanding that we are only just beginning. I am just hanging on, enjoying this wild adventure of trusting God with our futures, whatever is to come for 2013 and beyond.

Dad and I continue on our adventures each summer, trekking out to Colorado for the thrill of 14,000 feet. This year was by far our hardest year with some treacherous trails that we faced with all the confidence (or ignorance) of expert climbers. My improved fitness this year gave me an advantage I hadn't had before: endurance. Though I still struggle to wake my body up in the wee morning hours of trailhead arrival, I blazed through the days with a new sort of strength and confidence that running has given me. Running continues to be an obsession in my life, too, giving me the space and quiet that I need to get through long weeks at work surrounded by the noise and hustle-bustle of college campus life. I'm excited to get to my first half marathon coming up in a few short weeks in Key West, Florida. As for Mom and I, well, we continue to make birthdays a big deal with days full of shopping, eating, and girl-talking. I love birthday weekends with her. So special.

You know, I sort of feel like I'm just now starting to come into my own as an adult. I know that probably sounds kind of funny from this 29-year-old, seemingly independent go-getter, but I've never really felt like a grown up, not at work, not at home, not anywhere really. But this year, I feel like I just started to get a grip on what adult life was like. It's a balancing act that doesn't necessarily look all that much like balance. It's getting everything done, fulfilling promises, cooking dinner and eating well. Enjoying red wine with friends or alone, paying bills on time, working, studying, playing, laughing. It's mentoring, praying, caring for others. Making hard decisions. Making easy decisions. It's mowing the lawn and growing a garden. It's success and failure and the grace to accept both. It's confidence even if you have to fake it a little every now and again.

Maybe what 2012 gave me throughout all of the blessings and wonder, maybe the very best thing that 2012 taught me was that I really did, at some point, grow up. And do you know what? Being an adult isn't so bad. Actually it's sort of wonderful. Sort of awesome.

So there you have it. 2012: an awesome year. Filled with friends, family, adventure, blessings, and many wonderfully unknown things to come in 2013 I'm sure. Some years, I make predictions about what might be to come for the next year, but this year, I am truly content to just allow 2013 to be what it will be while I thoroughly enjoy the last half of my 29th year (the Year of Go!) and the first half of my 30th year (with absolutely no trepidations about becoming 30, really!).

Where was God?

This post is not a political statement. At least I don't think it will be. It is not a flagrant display of Christian privilege. It is not any sort of prideful lash against non-Christians. 

The combination of Christmastime and the national tragedy in Connecticut have spurred quite the conversation in numerous online forums and networks. Friends and acquaintances from all places on the pendulum have posted comments, thoughts and feelings for and against God, Christmas, beliefs, values...all in an attempt to define, perhaps even just for themselves, what it is that they believe when faced with opposing views in society. Questions arise in hearts and minds that make it difficult to make sense of what we personally believe and what we see in society. And frankly, events of evil, pain, and suffering do not make defining what we believe to be true any easier. 

I don't think I can adequately define, even for myself what I truly believe about politics, good and evil, Christians and non-Christians. But I must try to make sense in a senseless world because I don't have the option of removing myself from it and miraculously altering it for the better. 

I have come to believe that there is indeed right and wrong. Throughout various cultures, be they Christian or not, values and morals show up. Nowhere in the world is killing right. Nowhere in the world is hatred good. These values had to come from somewhere. They were instilled in our very hearts. Only a Creator could do such a thing. Individuals' beliefs and values cannot and will not make any sense at all if we push culture away from beliefs and values of any kind, which is what seems to be happening in the world. In attempt to offend no one, we devoid everyone of the possibility of carrying and acting upon the beliefs and values that we know to be true. We cannot be individuals with values living in a valueless society. 

I'm not trying to indoctrinate anyone with my own beliefs. I am merely trying to love. I acknowledge that not everyone is Christian and not all non-Christians are bad; rather, most are good. Our Creator has given us hearts that understand good and bad, right and wrong. These values must act as a foundation not only in our personal lives, but also in our collective lives because we cannot separate the two. They are intertwined. They are the elements of one coherent life that we all are trying to live. And we've tried so hard to separate them that we've become confused and forgotten the most important foundational value of all: love. 

A society that won't stand for anything will certainly fall for anything. And today it seems that we've fallen for the lie that we're better off without values, beliefs, and love, when nothing is more true than the very opposite of that.