noun
| 1. | a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized; "his hopes were so high he was doomed to disappointment" |
| 2. | an act (or failure to act) that disappoints someone |
Today I feel disappointed. And you know, disappointment is a funny thing. It can just sneak up on you from out of nowhere. It can take you from extremely excited to pretty much crushed in a matter of seconds.
I'm disappointed for a lot of reasons right now. I'm disappointed that I'm too naive, too green, to much of a kid to know what's really up. I don't know important things that I should know...like a giant placement exchange that is coupled with one of the biggest conferences of the year for student affairs. I don't even know what questions to ask or when to ask them...like, "NASPA...what are you going there for?" or "How can I find a great job today?"
I'm disappointed that I don't have a professional mentor and that I underestimated the necessity of one. I really need someone there beside me guiding me while I'm still too stupid to know anything on my own. To tell me things that I can't learn without them.
And I'm disappointed that I don't have enough initiative on my own to learn things without asking questions or a mentor. I could have found the information I needed online or in a pamphlet somewhere. I just didn't. Once again, it seems I'm a day late and a dollar short.
All this disappointment comes, hopefully a little prematurely, but I doubt it. I applied for a job yesterday, which I was very excited about. I thought it sounded like a great fit, and it had only been listed on one of the higher education job websites for a few weeks. Today, Alisha was in my office and I was telling her about it. She mentioned that they had probably listed it at NASPA last week. And that was the first I had heard about NASPA as a placement exchange rather than just a conference. At that point I still had hope that maybe the school I had applied with hadn't been there. It was, after all, in Boston. But then I looked. And it was. Dang.
So now, I figure I'll never hear from them because they've already interviewed probably thirty or so people before I ever applied. And that's disappointment for you at its finest. I can't wait for this day to be over.
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