Oh Dear

Several of you have already heard this story, but I usually feel better after writing about things, so thus...

Last week at church, I was approached by a man I had met before and talked with a few times. He always used to ask me if I had a boyfriend or if I was planning to get married someday, just, I thought as to give me a bit of a hard time. I would laugh and reply that I did not, and that I wasn't in a hurry. His wife would roll her eyes. But I digress.

He approached me and shook my hand, asked me how things were going. I replied politely, and went to walk away when he started to say, "You know, Lindsey, I wasn't going to come to church today. I had a lot of other things to do, but I decided to come because God told me I should talk with you..." Well then. So, I smiled and continued to politely carry on conversation. The next thing he said when I asked him how things were going was, "Well, I'm not married anymore," while pointing to his ring finger.

Red flag number one. I knew where this was headed.

He went on to tell me about his "other family" from his first wife and his older kids (in their 20s).

Red flag number two. This one was a surprise...not where I thought things were headed.

He went on still to say that he wanted to get to know me and that sometime we should go for a walk or meet for lunch if time allowed.

Red flag number three...ah, this is the direction I anticipated. But, I'm running out of red flags by this time. I was barely speaking at all...just attempting to become invisible right in front of him.

Then he asked for my email address. And for some reason, I gave it to him. Why did I do that?

Twenty minutes later, I was finally free, but my creep-o-meter was off the charts. And then of course there was the little display of affection in the parking lot where this man proceeded to honk his horn and yell goodbye out the window of his car. And to wrap it up, there was the expected email a few hours later asking for my phone number...which I did not share.

Now, all of that seems pretty tame really. I mean, that's all that happened. But those red flags, for some reason, are stuck on alert mode. I couldn't even look at him this week in church. I hid out until he was gone, hoping and praying that he wouldn't come talk to me. He didn't.

Do I have a sign on my back that says, "I love awkward social situations and am available to ridiculously incompatible people only."?

I wanted so badly to just stand up for myself and say, "You know what? I'm not sure what gave you the idea that I was interested in any sort of relationship at all, but I'm not. So please go away." I mean, that would have done the trick. But I just kept thinking, "Christian love. Christian love. Treat him like a brother. You wouldn't want to be shot down if this was you. Christian love." But I think that those lines get blurred and confused between women and men sometimes. My "Christian love" efforts apparently sometimes get misconstrued into romantic feelings or interest or actions in a man's mind.

Well, the moral of the story is that I'm still insanely uncomfortable for whatever reason. But luckily, I have a wonderful church family that are watching out for me. I am so thankful for that. A few weeks away from church will feel pretty good, I think, and hopefully realign my focus away from this situation and back on God...and on other important things...things like mountain top hikes to 14,000 feet. Pray for my peace of mind in the mean time.