Surprising Strength

I'm midweek through my annual mountaintop adventure in Colorado, and so far, it's been mostly good. I had one minor meltdown after a back road discovery was made; it was a literal you-can't-get-there-from-here situation. But with some quick thinking and a little luck, the trip was saved, and we've happily relocated to a new town. 

After the first day, I knew something was different than previous trips, but it wasn't until the end of the day that I knew what it was. Though I was typically slow on the start as we headed off into the woods with layers of clothing on, pretending not to be cold at 4:30 am, I discovered as we went that I had developed a new strength. It was partly physical strength, and after the first day, I noticed that for sure. After the second day, it was even more noticeable. Today, as I continued to encourage my dad up to the summit, it was profound. I am strong. My legs hold me upright and carry me onward in ways that they had not in previous years. Tonight, I know that I'm ready to go another three peaks in two days. 

But what is even more significant to me is not necessarily my physical capabilities, although exciting, it's the significant change in my mental strength. I was trying to explain to my dad how I knew things were different. And the best I could come up with was that I think people usually have two voices in their heads when they're trying hard things. One says, Give up. It's too hard. You don't really want to do it anyway. Is it worth it? The other cheers you on as if what you're doing is the greatest thing on earth. What you hear from that voice is, Yes, yes, yes! You're going to do this! You LOVE this! Yes!

Over the past year or so of running, I have learned that although running has its physical benefits, as displayed this week, it has given me so much more. I have learned over countless miles, good days and bad days, to push back the voice of defeat, the one that tries to convince you to stop whatever it is you're doing, and tune into the cheers of the voice that says I'm stronger than I know. 

Today, on day three and peak four of our trip, toward the end of the decent, I found myself, strange as it may sound, desiring to run down the hill. My arms came up to my sides and a slight bounce came to my step as we worked our way through the rolling meadow back to the trailhead. I was astounded. Where did this come from? This energy, this strength? The cheering voice in my head is getting louder. Perhaps it's time to get serious about endurance sports...