Thursday, March 20, 2014

On the Freedom of Facebook

I will preface this post by saying that I fully realize that by posting my opinions here, on a public blog, I am acting with a fair level of hypocrisy. This is not a holier-than-thou message, but it is a judgement of sorts, a judgement of appropriate versus inappropriate behavior online because it seems to me that we have lost the ability to tell the difference. 

I find myself wondering lately what goes through people's minds when they post things to Facebook. What goes through my mind? As a rarer than most poster, I feel like what I post is about as random as my life in general. A quick perusal of this year's posts so far, my posts have included a few photos of random happenings in life (coffee, an event or two, engagement photo) and some random updates about workouts, weather, work, a few birthday messages to friends. And sometimes I wonder if even that has been too much. It's not overly exciting. They don't mean much. To me, this is sort of the equivalent of making small talk with someone you haven't seen in a while because for the most part, it is indeed small talk with people I nearly never see. 

Recently, I have been witnessing more and more Facebook freakouts. Many of the posts I read are not small talk with acquaintances but rather deeply personal and directed updates about breakups or family members, not so subtle passive aggressive messages, and even intensely personal medical procedures/updates. There are hurtful, uncomfortable, painful things being published out there for all to see, and to what end? 

Now, we need to pause here again to note that I realize that this blog is not so different from a Facebook status update. And if you dig through its pages, you will find deep hurts revealed amidst various reflections and personal details of my life. So I get it. It feels good to get things out of your brain, off your chest, and into the universe. 

But there is a level of responsibility that comes with public domains like Facebook, like this blog, that is being forgotten and perhaps eliminated completely. And the deterioration of this responsibility is being considered, I think, something it is absolutely not: freedom. There is no more freedom in Facebook than there is standing face-to-face with your dearest loved one, a random stranger, your grandmother. In fact, I would argue that there is actually much less freedom in these virtual lands of limitless reach because what you share is not being shared in the closeness of friendships, the personalness of family, the trust of your grandmother. It's not just going out to one person or an elevator full of people you'll never see again. You're sharing irreversible, unerasable information with an endless list of friends, acquaintances, family, strangers, friends of friends... 

Facebook's repercussions are not just about what you're saying about yourself out there to the world. Certainly there are many avenues of self expression that are just as public as a Facebook status. Facebook's repercussions are about those that your messages are reaching. Words have power, and in a medium like Facebook, the reach of that power is extreme and unfathomable. Harsh or cruel words for loved ones, embarrassing moments of good friends, passive aggression, words of hate, rumors...there is simply no room for this level of irresponsibility. Not behind closed doors, not on a street corner, not on Facebook. Take responsibility. Man or woman up. Problems with people should be dealt with with people. Not with the public. Please stop using Facebook as a medium of harm and turn it into something beautiful. Use Facebook for good, for uplifting those around you, for making the world a little better place. It's your responsibility.

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