God is bigger than that.

I've decided that God is bigger than my desire to get married. This may seem a little out of left field somewhere, but as more and more of my friends get married and have babies, and as I approach birthday "golden plus two", the topic of my singleness finds itself at the forefront of my mind more often than I'd wish it lately. 

Anyway, I've decided that I've made God too small. Although I've prayed for my husband to show up at my doorstep, I've far too often doubted that he'll ever really come. I've contemplated far too many back up plans for what I'll do if I end up alone. I've spent too many hours dreading the possibility of becoming that crazy middle aged single lady (you know the type). I've gone on far too many first dates of desperation only to end up disappointed. But no more. 

God gave me a desire in my heart to be a loving wife and mother. He built it into me. And not having found a husband is not some sort of punishment for wrongdoings or a withholding for not being faithful enough or good enough. It just is what it is. But no longer will I assume that because this is something I want, God will somehow keep it from me. No longer will I think that God can't or won't bring my husband to me. No longer will I scoff at God's assured "something far better" than my own plans. God is bigger than all of that.

Here's what I know:

God is bigger than all of my deepest desires. 

God is better at finding my husband than all of my friends' setups. 

God is wiser than all of the marital advice I've ever received. 

God knows what He's doing. 

God does not make mistakes. 

God is big. God is love. God is joy.

What does this mean for my immediate future? I surely haven't a clue. I don't feel particularly led to steer clear of dating and setups altogether. I just know that I'll be praying differently starting today than I have for years. And that's a great starting point I think.