Praying when you don't know exactly what you're praying for...

Umm.....uh....well, I guess... Okay, so... Sigh. 

Look, I don't really know what to say here. I don't know even really how I'm supposed to feel. You've brought me to this place, I have not doubt about that. You unsettled me, shook me up, in ways that only You could know I needed, and now here I am. Sort of confused, but not really panicked. Sort of frustrated, but not really angry either. Am I just supposed to keep trusting, God? Things aren't really any clearer than than were before. I guess, well, I guess I'll just keep hanging on.

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What happens when you know you need to pray but you have no earthly clue what exactly you're praying for? Lately, in a battle of trust with God, I have found myself stuttering and stammering around without much direction of my own. But I'm beginning to think that maybe God's getting me right where He wants me. My pride is being stripped away, one situation at a time, and I'm left with my arms in the air wondering what's next, completely clueless. 

In these moments, who can I rely on? Who can I turn to? Certainly no one around me has answers for me. When the path is dark, and I'm not sure if the ground is going to be under my feet, the only thing I can really do is look up, take a deep breath, and cling to the hope that I know God knows what He's doing. 

Romans 8:26-27 reminds me that it's okay to not have words. 

Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

 This has happened to others. I am not the only one who has been speechless at the throne of God, as I wait for His will to be done. And through my speechlessness, through my blabbering random ramblings that don't make much sense, the Holy Spirit, who knows my heart, not only speaks on my behalf, but He groans without words according to the very will of God. Which is exactly what I want. Even if I don't know how to ask for it.