Authenticity?

In a recent lecture that I sat in on on the topic of leadership, the idea of authenticity, or as it was defined, being true to one's self, was brought up in almost every type of leadership. But I found myself getting hung up on the word, or perhaps the definition. 

What if deep down, in my truest core, I'm an emotional wreck. I mean just a real disaster? What if my heart yearned to shed tears at nearly every situation or experience? As a leader, is that the authentic self I should rely on? I think we can all agree that basket cases don't make great leaders. And what if my truest self was angry at the world? That doesn't seem like a healthy place to lean on. What if my true self wanted to always make others happy to the point that I couldn't tell them the truth if it was painful?

So what are we really talking about here? What is authenticity all about? Are we really just talking about the positive elements of our true selves? Our true good selves? Why don't we just say that then? Are we really talking about something beyond ourselves? Something of greater magnitude? If so, why do we consider it being true to self rather than being true to whatever it is?

I think some serious examination is in order to try to discover what this authenticity world is all about. Because, to be honest, sometimes I don't really like what I see when I look deep within myself. I don't like how I react to things sometimes or even how I choose to lead sometimes. If I don't like all the things that make up myself, then given the definition, I can't say I really want to be authentic all the time. And where do words like consistency, judgement, rationality, emotional stability, empathy...all those other words that we associate with good leaders land in the realm of authenticity? How are they connected?

Some days, I open a blank blog post and start typing in hopes that answers to my questions come flowing through the keys, as if by some godly channel that produces wisdom beyond my own. Some days, it shows up. Today, it's just questions, so I'll need to seek my answers elsewhere.