Gratitude and Greed

In a season of Thanksgiving, it is only natural to be reflective of all of those things that are counted as blessings in our lives, to ponder all of those things, great and small, that make life wonderful, enchanting, and rich. A major portion of my current life is quite obviously my work. It's where I spend the vast majority of my time, where my energy and passions are poured out; it is my very calling in life at this time, in this place. For this place, I am more than thankful.  

I'm grateful for the opportunity to have work at all. With times the way they are, there are many today that struggle and fight to even be or remain employed. Not only do have work, I have a true career with endless opportunities to dabble in areas of interest, expand professional experiences, teach, mentor, create new initiatives... In less than two years, I have grown immensely in my profession, more so than I ever thought possible. I'm so grateful for the uncommon experience I have been blessed with.

I am grateful for the mission of this place, that it is so much more than just a place to receive an education for our students. It's a place, instead that is trying to build up, inspire, and guide young adults into fruitful lives of purpose. It is a place that believes in and supports those that much of the world casts aside. How wonderful to have a deeper reason for working as an individual besides the paycheck, a deeper reason for existing as a university besides just providing diplomas.

I'm so grateful for the relationships I've developed here. The professionals that work beside me are a group of wonderful people, people of purpose that have vision and hopes for the future of their work. With so much of my time being spent at my work, my colleagues are also my primary social circle, and I can't think of people that I'd rather spend a lot of my time with. I'm so thankful for the friendships I have developed here.

Although my heart is overwhelmed by this place, what it has done for my life, and what it has done for so many around me, and although I am extremely thankful for the many blessing I have received from merely being associated with this place, part of my heart is still left longing. It's left yearning for something more. This is a strange feeling for me since thankfulness has, in my experience, typically led to contentment, but content I am not. I am left desiring more for this place - not more from this place but more for this place. I want programs to be better; student support to be more invasive; more resources to be able to effectively manage faculty and staff loads, program offerings, and new initiatives; a stronger mission; a bolder campus community faith effort...

All of these desires leave me with a feeling of greed, not contentment. How can a place that has given me so much still need so much? How can I look on this place with frustration and exhaustion after all it has blessed me and others with? The fact of the matter is that I simply do not know. Perhaps it is my gratitude that is driving my greed...because I am thankful, I must continue to fight for something even better - not for my benefit or success, but for the benefit and success of so many that are deserving of it.

Whatever it is, I cannot deny how much I have changed and grown because of this place. It is my sincere hope that there are countless others who feel the same way. It is for them that I fight and battle for more for this place.