1) How's it going?

The time has come to begin answering the many questions I encouraged my class to answer each week during journal time in my class. The first in the series was simply, "How's it going?" I was amazed at the responses this question brought forth. It was not the typical things-are-fine response that I received, but instead, I was offered, from many of my students, a glimpse into their real lives. I learned who had girlfriends back home, who's family was messed up, who had made bad choices recently...

It amazes me the type of response such a simple question can elicit if asked in the correct manner. "How's it going?" in itself would usually just be something asked in passing, offered as something slightly more than "Hello," but with no real added consequence. You'll usually hear people answer, "Good." or "Fine." But rarely will people tell you how they are really doing when asked. Most know that that's not what the asker wants to hear.

There is a huge difference between, "How's it going?" (the type of question asked when passing someone on the street or when you first sit down together over a cup of coffee) and "How's it going?" (the type of question asked with intention to listen to how it's really going, asked with eye contact, care, compassion, and trust, the type of question asked in honesty and vulnerability). I am far too often guilty of asking the former question rather than the latter, breezing by people in life assuming all is well and perhaps I'll catch up with people later. But later rarely comes, and lives remain busy, and we just keep asking shallowly how it's going with no real intention of waiting around for the answer.

Okay, so I haven't really answered the question as I had originally expected my students to, but I think that I really want to focus more on asking (correctly) how things are going for the people in my life rather than answering the question myself. I want to be a part of their lives, and not just out here somewhere (sorry, you'll have to use your imagination of me swinging my arms around "out there" for visual assistance), but in close, where real life takes place, where emotion and honestly and vulnerability live. Somehow, I think that just changing the way I ask, "How's it going?" could potentially drastically affect the relationships in my life. So, next time I see you, I will ask how things are going with you, and hopefully you ask it of me, and let's have a real conversation about our lives, how God is working, how you are changing, what you fear, what you love, what hurts, what brings you joy... I want to know. Really.