Lenses and Focus

As of late, I have been in a fairly serious state. My mind and heart have been somewhat burdened with the happenings of UD that have been fostered by my desire to do well by Jesus and this place. And although the responsibilities I have been entrusted are indeed serious, weighty, significant, I have allowed myself to get bogged down with details, the affairs of others, and injustices that fall far outside of my control. 

What is the result of all of this bogging and weight? Well, my passions have certainly not been diminished. In fact, I feel like many of my emotions toward specific individuals on this campus and certain circumstances are driven by the very passion that wells in my heart, something that resides there in inexplicable levels all of the time. But something that has been sacrificed in the process of allowing myself to be bogged down is the joy that used to be a byproduct of my passion. Now it seems that instead, my passion is producing fire, maybe even fury. And frankly, it's exhausting.

In church on Sunday, Pastor Ken closed his sermon by reading Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." And it struck me in that moment that I had always heard that verse completely wrong. How I remembered and interpreted the verse was, "The Lord will give you the desires of your heart." Ha. Really for the first time on Sunday I heard the verse for what it was, and it sounded more like, "Delight yourself in the Lord." Suddenly, the desires of my heart became much, much less significant. The command here is to delight, to take joy in the Lord. Not delight when you have the desires of your heart, not delight when you feel like it. Delight. Take pleasure. Have joy. The desires of my heart will follow undoubtedly because as I take delight in my Lord, my heart aligns with his heart, my desires with his. It's not the desires I should be focusing on, it's Jesus. 

So, a change in focus needs to take place. Or maybe just a refocusing. I need to be absolutely sure that my focus is only set on one thing - my Jesus. It's so easy to get sidetracked and focus on all sorts of other things, people, circumstances, injustice, unfairness, hurt, messes...but amidst it all, I need to maintain focus on Jesus. But even if my focus is on him, the lenses that I use to see and focus in could still be off. I feel, honestly, like lately I have had my focus on Jesus, but the lenses that I was looking through were righteous (and perhaps a good dose of unrighteous) anger, frustration. I was weighed down by the desire for everyone to be better people, to work harder, to grow up. Those were the lenses I was looking through. But Jesus commands us to be joyful, to take delight, more than once. 

Philippians 4:4 - "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" 

Luke 6:23 - "Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven." 

1 Peter 4:13 - "But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."

My focus is set squarely on my Jesus, and I look to him through the lenses of joy. Just like 3D glasses change the appearance of the movie screen, so does joy change the appearance of every circumstance, encounter, individual. It's time to obey the command and take joy, to delight in the Lord.