To Be Given Much

Lately, I've been chewing on the ideas of what God gives us and what He expects of us. There's a parable in Matthew (Matthew 28:14-30) where a master gives one servant five talents, one two talents, and one one talent to take care of while he was gone. When he came back, the servant with five talents had doubled it and gave it all back to the master. The servant with two had also doubled it and gave it back to the master. The last servant buried the one talent he'd been given in the ground and upon the master's return, dug it back up and gave it to him. To the two who had been careful with the responsibility given to them, the master promised to place them in power over much. But the one who had only returned the one talent, the master called wicked, took away what little he had, and gave him the boot. 

So what does this mean for my life? How does this story apply? In the last few weeks, it seems that I have had quite a few people say in conversation something to the effect of, "I don't know how you keep it all straight," or "You make crazy chaos look easy." I usually just chuckle and go about my way, but when the comments come in droves, more than once a day, I have to start thinking that maybe there's something to it all. 

I feel that I have indeed been given much. Now, please don't misunderstand me to be saying, "Look at me and how great I am at everything! I'm so stinkin' cool!" That is absolutely not what I am saying. But I know my life is full. I recognize that God has given me gifts. Even just a quick glance at my life reveals that I have the ability to operate well in chaos, organize details, view the big picture, touch people with music...dig a little deeper and my heart reveals an ability to connect with people; to inspire, energize, excite people around me; dream beyond most people's limits...

My heart deeply desires to share these gifts with others, to offer them to God. So what's nagging me about this parable? What is it that I keep coming back to? I am offering enough? Am I choosing not to use some of my gifts? Am I trying to do too much, rendering myself fairly ineffective at everything? 

I've been given what I've been given not with the suggestion that I use it. No, it's an expectation. To chose not to use my gifts is a choice to avoid the responsibility God has given me. My gifts come with responsibilities. When I avoid responsibility, I am saying to God that I don't think I need to or should have to fulfill my responsibilities from Him. And I think that's a form of pride. But I could also use my gifts in ways that are not honoring to God or people. I could use them in ways that only further my own agendas, for my own glory. And that's pride, too, right? 

I'm sure this is post is just a rambling mess right now, but I have written, deleted, and rewritten this post so many times in the last few days, I just had to get something down and out of my head. Clearly, I still have much mulling to do on this passage in scripture and more listening to hear what God is trying to tell me through it.