My Dream Man Must've Gotten Confused

Day One of WEF's (Wisconsin Education Fairs), was a good one. I had exceptional luck with both the morning fair and the evening fair. Many people were complaining about a really slow night this evening, but I had a good hand full of students and parents stop by. I was excited by it. And the Assistant Admission Advisor from Ripon commented that I was doing really well at my table. That was good news for me since it's really the only feedback I've had on the road.

This morning, I was pretty convinced that I had met a possible dream man, and the coincidents that followed made me even more convinced. I spotted him from across the gym, a real looker. I mean, I really couldn't take my eyes off him. We didn't get a chance to meet then, but I saw him again at the evening WEF, and I was sure I wanted to meet him.

Amanda, a new friend also on the road for the first time from Loras, made sure to help me out. (Oh, and Stacie, if you are reading this, Amanda would be the slightly inappropriately dressed recruiter with the pipes...and yes, she was in gymnastics.) She ran up to him after the evening fair and invited him to join us for pizza. He joined us in my hotel room where I found out some interesting facts. He went to and works for Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa. This would be a Reformed Christian denomination school (and I was raised Reformed), he new the Folkerts family (a family that I grew up with at church)...and there were a few other interesting things that we related to each other nicely.

I was nearly swimming in crush-ness by the middle of our pizza dinner when I received the crushing blow. He had a girlfriend...a girlfriend?!? Of five years. And she's in med. school. How can I compete with that? Ugh. So, Mr. Clint, somewhere along the line, you must have gotten confused and met up with the wrong girl who happens to be a genius and is probably beautiful. When clearly it should have been me that you are about to marry.

Someday my dream man will come along. Or maybe Clint will break up with his girlfriend.

Someday.

Wrapping Up Week One

Week One is almost over. And I must say, it's been thankfully pretty uneventful. I went to schools, did my thing, and talked to some pretty cool kids and a few nice guidance counselors, too. I laid around a lot in the hotel, took really long hot showers, sat down at the bar, and did some things that I didn't even think I would do. For instance, I went out to a nice restaurant by myself, and although it wasn't my favorite thing to do in the world, having my mom on the phone with me the whole time helped. :) I drove through treacherous Milwaukee several times...once to go to a mall.

I am, admittedly, a little behind on my postcards to students, but I have a feeling once the novelty of being in hotels and out to eat wears off, I'll be a workaholic. But this week, I decided to just be a pamperaholic. Ok, not really, but I did get myself a set of acrylic nails tonight...and at the price they come, I treated that hour of nail filing and shaping like a full body massage. I took all the pampering out of it I could. The moment was only slightly disturbed by the nail lady talking to me...mainly asking what I did, if I was single...if I was single...why did she have to keep bringing that up? Oh well. I shrugged it off, and closed my eyes, and dreamed of being on my honeymoon in the Bahamas.

The week started off with air conditioning and sun glasses but it's wrapping up with the hotel room's heat on and me wrapped up in my covers. This weekend will leave no rest for the weary as I have Bridget's wedding in Muscoda all weekend, then it's back on the road on Monday morning with a marathon of WEF's until next Friday. Meh. I'll sleep when I'm dead. :)

More to do...

The lesson I have learned today was for sure to bring more along to do on these trips. There are a couple of schools that have like an hour or so between visits, and I found myself driving around or chilling at a local park.

And I tried starting some postcards for students...but all of them sounded stupid and fake...so I stopped.

And now it's almost 4:00, and I'm done for the day, back in my hotel room, thinking about what to do next. Any suggestions for how to fill my time? Feel free to add comments...I need all the help I can get.

Otherwise, I survived the day with no major mishaps. I answered most of the questions that were thrown at me with no major hesitation. And, if I do say so myself...I looked pretty darn good doing it.

Initial Jitters in Port Washington

This is not exactly how I thought I would feel on my first trip out. I honestly thought I would be very excited and ready...fully prepared and knowledgeable about UWP. But it's just not at all true. Now, it's not that I'm not excited because I am. What a great job to have. All I need to do is go out there and express my love for my alma mater to all those cute little high school kids. But there's just an eerie feeling about the whole thing.

I just drove three hours in the pouring rain to a city I've never seen before, checked into a hotel...alone, went to the hotel restaurant...alone. Granted, I'm sure any new job is kind of like this, you feel like you've been thrown into something that you know nothing about, no matter how much training you received. But this is a little extreme, don't you think? I'm out in the middle of the proverbial nowhere with no one's cubical to run to if I get stuck. I'm just wingin' it for now, I guess.

It's a little bit weird for me to feel this squeamish. Usually I'm ready for everything, willing to try almost anything once. But I feel like so far, this is a little out of my league. There are so many things that I am forced very quickly to do for the first time: stay at a hotel alone, eat out alone, travel under my own navigation...

I'm sure by the end of tomorrow, I'll be singing a completely different tune, but for tonight, I just had to get some of my initial jitters out. So wish me luck for tomorrow! And, don't worry, I'll let you know how it goes.

P.S. Tonight I ate at a bar called The Rusty Anchor...doesn't get any better than that, does it?

A Evening in La Crosse

Welcome to the first addition of Tales From the Road! I'm sure this is the first of many more to come. I hope you enjoy my rendition of events from my travels...which may or may not be 100% factual.

Getting to Aquinas High School was definitely a journey to remember. It was my first night on the road as an admission advisor for UWP, and I'd have to say honestly that it was the actual act of being on the road that was the most exciting part of the night.

Stacie and I went together as sort of a practice run for me...well, both of us, as she had only done one other fair before. It was nice to have a travel buddy, but it would have been even more nice to have a camera and a travel buddy.

The night started out passing three strange and slightly creepy animal statues on the path. The first was a giant mouse holding cheese in Fennimore that Stacie lovingly referred to as a giant rat. Then we noted shortly after a very large bird statue, and in the town that came shortly after, there was a happily roaring lion. Stacie promptly encouraged me to stick my head in its mouth. I thought about it but decided that it would only be worth it in conjunction with a photo op. with all three creepy animals.

A friendly detour met us as we neared La Crosse. At this point we were both starving, a little cranky, and only slightly stir-crazy from being in the car on an exceptionally curvy road for two hours. A detour was not on either of our top-ten list of want-to-do's. And as we passed through what ended up being quite possibly the strangest detour (that went in a complete circle in a small town) I made a split-second decision to take a different road...off the detour. County K. Now, I would highly doubt that this road was worse that the actual detour, but it was pretty darn curvy...the kind of curvy road that has big boulders jutting out of the massive hills on either side...the kind of curvy road that max's out the speedometer at about 40. We were less than thrilled.

But, alas, finally we arrived at our destination. Ok, so we were on the wrong side of the building, asking small children for directions to the main door, and just barely in time for dinner, but we were there. And we got pasta. So all was well...until..."the mom."

A very seemingly nice mom came up to our table to ask us a few questions. She had a son that was a senior that had just sent in his application. She had so many questions that she wasn't even letting us answer her questions before moving on the next, obviously life-or-death question. Forty minutes later, the guy from one table over walked up to me and commented, "She sure gave you an ear-full," to which I just nodded as I was very sick of talking by then.

All in all, four pseudo-interested students filled out information cards for us and asked us a few general questions, but that was all the actual fair action that the two of us got. Way to go us.

The ride home proved to be a little more exciting than the ride up...well, until Stacie fell asleep on me. Then I was pretty much on my own. We, again, decided to veer off the well-trod path of the marked detour to pass through such exciting towns such as Romance and Bud. We actually missed Bud, but that's neither here nor there. Passing through Romance, Stacie took the time to convince me that we were for sure going to die by the hand of a masked murderer that was about to jump over the guard rail and into our car. A dense fog and lack of cell phone service, as well as an unidentified lurching of the car during acceleration, solidified the senario and guaranteed our impending doom. I'm happy to report that we missed the murderer by just seconds and escaped unharmed....and the rest is history.

The Tall Single Telemarketer?

This week has been full of unexpected...well, let's just say unexpected-ness.

At work, I've been reduced to a telemarketer calling 30 or more schools a day trying to schedule all my visits (that would be 169 of them this semester alone). I decided this week that I wanted to make sure that I got all my schools scheduled before I left for full-time travel. I'm over half way there, but there are only a few days left in the week. And I have a presentation to watch, a meeting to go to, and a fair to leave early for...which puts time at a premium. I've even gone so far as to give up my lunch hours to keep calling schools. Perhaps I'm a freak. But the truth of the matter is that I actually like getting my schools scheduled and talking with guidance counselors. It's a lot of fun!

In other news... Brandon and I had a candid conversation about us. We were both feeling something similar, and that was that it just wasn't working. We came to the realization that we are very different people. Ok, so we probably knew that when we started, but there was an initial attraction. It was a good and fun three months together. But now it's movin' on time. No worries though. We ended on good terms, still friends and all that. This, I guess wasn't all that unexpected. The past week or so it's kind of been lingering in the air....known to both of us, not really wanting to be touched by either of us...you know.

But that's about it. Life will be getting more exciting coming up very soon though. Be looking here for stories from the road as I start traveling! I bet there'll be some great tales to regale from those sweet and innocent high school kids. So stay tuned!

Thoughts on the Lia Sophia Followers

I got invited to a Lia Sophia gathering tonight at Stacie, a friendly coworker's home. And after I got the invite, I then got a sneak peek into what the night may hold. I thought that Lia Sophia was just a nice home sales based jewelry business, but in all actuality, it is some sort of addicting, blood-sucking cult disguised as stay-at-home-moms and get-togethers with snacks and friends. You should see how these women in my office drool over a LS catalog or people's collections that they've purchased. It's crazy. At first, I have to say that I was captivated by their reactions and a little frightened. But it got worse very quickly.

I got my very own catalog, and as suddenly as I had judged their craziness and addiction, I was paging through the book again and again until I swore I had seen every piece in there. And then I was circling things, calculating the value of the deals I could receive if I bought just one more piece... I had, in one giant swoop gone from critic to one of them! I could hardly believe it myself.

However, I don't think that I will achieve the level of spending power that some of the women in the office have attained. Deb was going through pointing to all of the items that were on her most recent order...it had to have been hundreds of dollars for a few pieces of albeit gorgeous jewelry. Hopefully I can fend off the ever powerful urges to buy, buy, buy...as long as I keep the fact in mind that I do need to be able to eat this month.

Oh Lia Sophia...what a power you possess.

And What Day is It?

With training complete and the real work under way, I've found myself buried in schools and phone messages, and guidance counselors. And it's really only day one of calling schools. I feel like it's been weeks! I'm not sure how my lovely co-workers do it every day. I feel like I'm going crazy. Today, all day, I called schools to schedule my visits, and guess how many I got complete... 18. Not very many at all considering I have over 175 stops to make this semester.

But regardless of how many schools I have to call, re-call, leave messages with, or whatever...I still have to say that so far my job is going well, and I really like it. And I'm quite sure that I will enjoy being out on the road...at least for the first couple of weeks.

It's awfully strange seeing students back on campus every day. I only worked a week or so before they all returned, but it's weird. I see people I know, and most of them are confused why I'm on campus at all. I feel strangely removed from the campus life even though I'm pretty darn involved for a staff member. Things like move-in and orientation have passed me by, and fighting through the crowds for that 12:00 PSC lunch seems not quite as natural as it once did. Transitioning from student to staff in one giant sweep has been a little bit strange, but overall not too out of reach. Convocation yesterday (possibly the most boring experience of my life) reminded me that I was for sure an adult living in an adult world.

Megan, my roommate, moved back in this weekend. And at first I wasn't all that excited about it. (Sorry Meg if you're reading this.) But it had been three nice months of coming home from work and doing whatever I wanted, eating what and when I wanted, and most importantly, being naked when and where I wanted. And now, that's all gone. But I did discover last night that it isn't so bad. I mean, it's pretty nice to have someone to talk to at night and watch TV with and whatnot.

So, life in my own little world is pretty happy and healthy lately. Here's to a continuing streak of this!

Training and Being the Big Kid

If I had to sum up the past few weeks at work, there would only be a few words that would come to mind: a lot of fun, a lot of sitting around. It's a strange combination of expressions, but so far, pretty accurate. (Note the time of this post is 8:36 am...)

Sure, I have been through a great deal of training that has shared a lot of information that is actually useful to my position. And as it turns out, there is a lot to know before I go out on the road. Today and tomorrow I will be in an especially weird spot. It's too early to call schools, as most either have just started classes, or will not start classes until next week. But, in all honesty, that's about all I have to do for now. Once I begin calling schools, life will get crazy, and I'll be lucky if my phone will ever stop ringing, but for now....silence.

Now, about being the big kid... I still have to say that my transition from student to professional is not near complete, but each day brings me a little closer. Last night, I went with the rest of the women of the office to Provost, Carol Sue's house for a women's social with desserts, junk food, and like 50 bottles of wine. The whole point: to mingle with other women of the university...my accomplishment for the night: mingling with the other admission advisors and just saying hello to all my old professors. But I have to say that I did feel like a big kid...and that's a good feeling.

New Job!

Yesterday I began a very new adventure in the story of my life. I started my new job at UWP Prospective Student Services. You are now reading the blog of an Associate Admission Advisor and Territorial Manager...(longest title ever?) I wasn't sure how the adventure would begin, but it quickly turned into a typical university day.

I began by sitting at my desk for a half an hour staring at a black computer screen. Everyone was busy starting their own day, so I just patiently waited for someone to tell me what I should do. But I did take the initiative to turn on my computer and attempt to log in. And I failed. Someone had locked my computer with an administrator password, so I couldn't log in...thus the black screen. Then I sat in a group meeting with our office and met everyone officially. And the group is a very enjoyable one that I think I will hang out with a lot.

After the meeting going over what we would need to train on, I then sat around for a while until the Student Affairs Division meeting. This meeting was one that I had heard of as an RA. It was one of those meetings that the Resident Directors always were forced to dress up a little more and attend. So, naturally, when I saw all the Housing Staff at the meeting, I suddenly felt like I was breaking some rule by being there. It was just a strange way to transition from student to professional.

After the awkward meeting and lunch, I decided to accomplish something, so I went around to what seemed like 50 some offices around campus to get paperwork taken care of. This took quite the effort and the run around all over campus. But I got my new ID, driving authorization, and credit card papers all almost taken care of. I hope to finish that stuff by the end of tomorrow.

While I was taking care of that stuff, I got side tracked by Stacie, the Marketing Manager, in our office, to help with the whole tv spot. I showed them the cool park and bridge behind campus, and I got some disk golfers to be in a shot, too. I felt powerful. :)

Today was super boring having to go through campus new staff orientation. I kind of wanted to poke my eyes out several times. Most of the information was for teaching staff and faculty...not non-teaching staff like myself. But lunch was a crazy experience. The chancellor decided to plop down at my table and chat for the lunch hour. I told him that I used to be a student there (bad chancellor for forgetting me), and that I lived across the street from him. It was cool.

So that was the first two days. Both had their ups and downs, but I think I'm really going to like this job, and if I do say so myself, I think I'll be pretty good at it. :)

So, how was your day?

A Quick Update

Ok, so it's been a while since my last post. A lot has happened in a few short days.

As you know, I went to Illinois for a few days a week ago, and it was so fun. But that has already been discussed. Following that trip, I went to visit my parents for a few days. My mom and I went on a shopping spree, and this also has been discussed. Continuing the marathon of travels, I went to see Brandon at his place in Jordan, Minnesota. What a weekend. It was a lot of fun.

We went to the Mall of America and shopped til we dropped (literally). I found a pair of shoes that I had been searching for for weeks, and of course, I bought them on the spot. I think there's something to impulse buying. I get a lot of fun stuff on impulse. :) We also went to the zoo. The last time I had been to a zoo, I was probably eight, so that was cool. I liked the fish and sharks and stuff the best. Brandon also gave me the grand tour of his area, and Jordan is a super nice community. I liked it a lot.

Somewhere along the marathon route, I managed to squeeze in a hair cut and a dentist appointment. Good news - no cavities for the 22nd year in a row! :) It has been a great week or two, but it sure did add a lot of milage to my car and my life.

Tomorrow I start my new job training (at 7:45 am) and I am so excited! I think it's going to be fantastic. And Friday my parents and Brandon will be in town which means dining out and hanging out. Saturday, Brandon and I are going to my friend Bridget's cookout for the day, and Sunday is church.

So, as usual, life does not slow down for this crazy kid. It just keeps plowing forward at breakneck speed, but you know I wouldn't have it any other way. Wish me luck on my job, and good luck to everyone starting classes this week and next!

Shopping Spree!

Oh wow. Today was a blast. I got to hang out with my best friend (a.k.a. Mom) and go shopping all day long. We were gone from 10:30 in the morning until almost 6:00 at night looking for everything under the sun that would work for office attire. And boy did we hit the jackpot! Well, almost.

We went everywhere within reasonable driving distance, and that included two separate malls, a few shoe stores outside the mall, and a Wal-Mart. I got tons of layery shirts (my favorite wardrobe essential), a few pairs of pants, and some new Victoria's Secret grear. Then I came home and finished up my day with some online shopping (as if real-life shopping had not been exhausting enough). I ordered some pants from my favorite store (the Gap) and some shoes from my Steve Madden.

Overall it was an exciting day. I feel mostly geared up for a new job with a real office (ok, desk space, but it's a start!) and real tasks to do. I'm ready to hit the road, stylishly, and bring some cool kids to the UWP. Yay for me and my mom! :)

I hope your day was as cool as mine was, but I bet it wasn't!

We Won!

I would just like to post an announcement that the Community Evangelical Free Church's women's volleyball team won their first match of the season tonight! (Ok, so we played a team that only had four players...So what!) We won! Yay for us! I was excited. :) That is all. Have a good night.

On Our Way (Part II)

And now the trip is almost over. We've given our hugs, said our goodbyes, kissed the baby, and it's almost time for sleep. How would I rate this experience? Overall, I would say it was very positive. I mean, let's face it, I do love babies. But this trip has given my a lot to think about.

The thought weighing on my mind right now is the undeniable urge to be a mother. Now, I fully understand that there are most likely many life events that I must yet go through before motherhood takes place, but I can still not ignore the fact that I love babies like I love my own kidneys. (Not sure why this was the first thing that came to my mind that I loved, but just go with it.) I love holding them, smelling them, comforting them, everything about them. And although I am sure that I do not know it all, I feel that I would still be a good mother. And I want it now. It's strange to have this so strong at this point in my life when so much else is going on. There's a new job on the horizon (beginning in the next few weeks), a new boyfriend to try to figure out (and figure out how to let him figure me out), and a fairly new life developing myself as an adult.

There are many other thoughts swamping my mind tonight as well, many of which will remain in my mind and prayers and not on this page. There are just a lot of "what if''s", "what now's", and "what when's" to think about. Knowing that there is really nothing that I can adequately control in life (at least not well), I have to daily (or more realistically, hourly) give all these worries and swamping thoughts up to the One who has the plan. I mean, what else can I do? Is dwelling on or fretting over all my tomorrows going to make them any better? Any more like I want them? I surely doubt it.

So, for tonight, I place my head on this hotel pillow, and talk to God (since we all know there hasn't been a lot of sleeping taking place for me lately) I will be asking a lot of questions, all of the thoughts stuck in my head. But more importantly, I will be listening, listening to what God has probably been trying to tell me all along about life and plan and purpose, timing and love and matters of the heart. And maybe that's what's been missing lately in my life anyway, my ability to even try to listen to God. Even when I feel that I have surrendered all my worries (and even when I have surrendered it all) I still often fail to really stop and listen. "Sure God, here's my life. I'm giving it to You, but don't expect me to put in any real effort. That may just be too tough." Well, it's time to straighten up, listen up, and maybe God will wise me up. That's the hope for tonight anyway.

On Our Way

Well, here I am, sitting in a hotel room with Brandon and his family...one hotel room...all of us. Now, I don't find this completely strange, but if the roles were reversed and this was my family and Brandon sitting in the room...well I just can't even visualize it. Is that strange?

But we're here in Decatur, Illinois (or somewhere close at least), and I can't wait to see that new beautiful baby and hold her. I love babies. There's something about little babies that just warms my heart and soul. It makes me want to be mom every time.

Tonight was great though. Lots of good time in the hot tub and the pool. Lots of good times in the vehicle, too. I expect the rest of the trip to be very good. I love this family.

Anyway, this entry, I must admit, is one of my most dull, but perhaps there will be a part two that will be much more interesting...like how my day went with the cute baby. :)

Wind Through My...Helmet

Today was the first day that I got to test ride my brand new bike. And I must say, it felt pretty darn good. Ok, so I can't lie. Most of it felt good. The climbing of the massive hill located on County B on your way to the M...no so good. In fact, it was down right painful. But hey, beauty has a price...ok, so I'm not even in it for any sort of beautification. I just want to be in shape, you know, feel good. But the road to being in shape is paved with lactic acid (which for those of you who failed biology, that's what makes your over-used muscles feel sore). But enough about the pavement. Let's set some goals!

I feel the desire to participate in Platteville's next summer Parks and Rec Triathlon. Weird, since I have not always been known as the physically ambitious type and especially not the running type. But I've got the drive, so goals are next.

During the winter, due to the Midwest's tendancy to be snowed upon, I figure there will not be much biking done. But I will get a PAC membership and go to the pool several times a week and lift in the weight room several times a week. While I'm on the road with my job, I will hopefully have hotels with pools in which I will swim. Once spring comes, it's all about the bike and the run and the outdoor swim.

Now, don't get me wrong, this does sound like a lot of work, but I have already decided that I am not doing this to say I am the best or the fastest or the coolest person you've ever seen. I want to do it for FUN. That's right all you crazy people out there. Working out can be fun. Being in shape, also fun. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Anybody want to join me?

On a completely related note - I will be doing some triathlon traveling the next few days. Let me elaborate. I will be leaving on a family fun trip to Illinois to see a beautiful baby, followed closely (and I do mean like 20 hours later) by a trip to visit my parents, followed immediately by a trip to see my boyfriend in his natural habitat. Talk about your triathlon! But it should be super fun, and then it's reality check time as I start my real-life job two days after my return. Woo! Life is sure crazy. Don't blink, you might miss it!

Lyrics to ponder tonight...Jennifer Knapp "In the Name"

All these years, too many ahead to think clear
Some say where's my crystal ball.
Some men play the lottery,
Makin' bets against the governments economy.
They say I'd rather be rich than be alive at all.

When men in miry circumstances fall,
It won't be hard to tell where they placed their resolve.

Some trust in chariots,
But we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
To each his own won't lead you home and prob'ly never will.
I won't trust in the things I do.
Cuz they will not stand and they won't come through.
So I'll trust in the name of the Lord my God...
Oh, I'll trust in the name.

Picket fences may build our defense
In domestic wars of leisure suits.
That's ok, it doesn't bother me.
You can hold onto your philosophy of
What's mine is mine, what's yours is yours,
But whats the truth?

When the walls do crumble and they fall,
It won't be hard to tell where we place our resolve.

Some trust in chariots,
But we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
To each his own won't lead you home and prob'ly never will.
I won't trust in the things I do.
Cuz they will not stand and they won't come through.
So I'll trust in the name of the Lord my God...
Oh, I'll trust in the name.

Someone Who Gets Me

After a phenomenal chat on the phone with my certain someone, I have come to the conclusion that it is really nice to have someone who gets me, really gets me. Every word that we said seemed to hold a shared sentiment by the other. It was comforting.

You know what else is comforting? Having Someone that gets you all the time, no matter what mood or events surround me. I could be in the deepest depths or on top of the highest mountain, and there is Someone who is standing by my side. God never is baffled by my actions or worried about my reactions. After all, He wrote the book of my life before I ever existed, did He not?

God, thank You so much for always getting me, for understanding my ups and downs, my strange behaviors, and my ever-changing attitudes. Thank You for never bailing on me, even if I may bail on You every now and then. I am not perfect, far from it in fact, but You are. So I don't have to doubt Your power or Your love. It'll always be there. You will always be there. Please don't ever let that thought leave my mind. Maybe then I would be more faithful, more grateful, more trusting of You. You are my God and my Creator. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. I love You more than words can express.

Ahh, Normal

I just wanted to make a quick note that today I feel increadibly normal. And I can't tell you how wonderful that is. My spirits are high, life is good, and I'm ready for the day ahead. The past few days have really done a number on me, but it has been for the best. My heart has been searching, and again I've found what I'm looking for.

Here's Proverbs 3:5-7 as found in The Message translation:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!

What a Walk

Yesterday after work, I had the sudden urge to go for a run. Now, if you know me at all, you're thinking, "Well, that's weird," because Lindsey does not run. But it was undeniable, so I suited up, found my tennies, loaded up my mp3 player, and headed out. But I decided that walking was a much better idea.

It was a beautiful night. The sun was peeking in and out of the clouds, the breeze was nice and cool. I walked through campus first as it was my comfort zone for so long. I walked through Memorial Park behind campus, then found the Roundtree Branch Trail. I had heard a rumor that this trail went something like all the way to Mineral Point. And although I had no intention of walking to Mineral Point last night, I did feel like it would be an adventure to see where it led me.

So, I walked and walked and walked. And twice I found myself without a trail, totally at a loss for when I had actually gotten off the trail. And then I was in the Domino's employee parking lot...and the trail stopped cold. First of all, I already felt like an idiot for walking through the giant parking lot past all the employees on their smoke breaks. But to walk past them again when I finally realize the trail was gone was almost too much for me to bear. So I finished my walk in a state of fury.

So, if anyone has an official map of the trail that goes to Mineral Point, or even if you know where I can go to start the trail (um, that doesn't require me to risk my life by walking on any roads), please let me know. I'd love to explore it.

Nothing Like a 2x4 to the Face

It's Sunday afternoon, and I have just recently been smacked in the face with a 2x4...again. This happens every now and then when I lose sight of what's really important in life or get overwhelmed with the details of it all. This weekend, I spent some time with my good friend Bri, and we had some really good heart-to-heart talks recently. Last night's topic of interest was the complexity of life and our ablility to worry about it every waking second of the day (and for me, all of the want-to-be-sleeping moments of the night).

It was wonderful just to have someone to share my thoughts, worries, and feelings with. But that wasn't really the moment of 2x4 impact. That took place this morning as the sermon centered around life's path. Pastor went on about how we get so caught up in making sure that we are on the right path and knowing what the path is that we completely forget to include God in it all. And what a realization that was. And it's so frustrating! I have had this moment over and over throughout life - hundreds of times. This I-can't-believe-I-forgot-God moment that makes me think I have everything under control. Why in the world does it keep coming back to this? I mean, I know that God is better off in control and that I should trust Him for every moment and move that I make. I know it. I believe it!

But here I sit again today, in my kitchen, feeling nothing but misery for falling again. Will I ever learn? Will I ever truly realize the power and care of the God that created me? At this point in my life, it seems unlikely, but oh how I long for the moment when it doesn't just click for one decision or one life-crisis, but the moment when I can live it...forever.

In my frustrations I go back to a Jennifer Knapp song. This song reminds me that I will never be perfect, never have the ability to ever be 100% faithful to anything, but there's a God out there who is faithful, who will never leave us or lead us astray. A God who is Faithful to Me:

All the chisels I've dulled carving idols of stone
that have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand,
just to watch them all wash away

Through another day, another trial
Another chance to reconcile
To One who sees past all I've seen,
and reaching out my weary hand,
I pray that you'd understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me.

All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea.
I have cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly,
for a faith to be faithful to me.

Through another day, another trial,
Another chance to reconcile
To One who sees past all I've seen,
and reaching out my weary hand,
I pray that you'd understand,
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
You're the only one who's faithful to me.